Every Wednesday, regular as clockwork, church services were held at the dementia facility where I worked. Songbooks passed around, guitars tuned and ready to go, the anxious crowd awaits. Time for the songs of life to come alive in each resident.
87 year old Jack became nonverbal sometime before I started working there which was over five years ago by now. But he always enjoyed watching the church group play and sing. Never accepted a songbook, never sat in a chair. Just wandered about the room watching and listening.
One Wednesday he was standing right in front of me watching and listening. The church group began singing “Onward Christian Soldiers.” All of a sudden Jack spun around, grabbed my hands and began singing/shouting out the words to the song.
For me it was surreal and dreamlike. It took me a minute to come to grips with the fact Jack really even had a voice. And he knew the words?! WOW!
We each have a song of life
Music plays a unique and very special role in each of our lives. The affect it has on those with dementia, however, borders on miraculous. As William Congreve aptly stated, “Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast. To soften rocks, or bend the knotted oak.” Although we tend to not think of it in this manner, music is a powerful force.
Music seems to touch psychosocial needs of everyone. Especially true for those who have dementia. But not just touch. Connecting with the past, it seems to have the ability to refresh the memory of previously met psychosocial needs. Some of these satisfied needs go back forty or fifty years, even more.
For someone who is not always oriented to time, this “memory” can feed their soul in the here and now. Just in hearing the first few notes the brain begins to relay the message “psychosocial needs have been met. Continue on with quality of life.”
The song of life enhances
Music can enhance the loved one’s quality of life. It does not take the place of meeting psychosocial needs nor does it replace psychosocial interaction. Music is a gift to the soul. You start singing your loved one’s favorite childhood songs with them and their youth literally comes alive.
They love to sing. Some enjoy whistling too. At any given moment they are ready to sing “You Are My Sunshine” and “Playmate, Come Out and Play With Me.” Wartime songs also strike a chord. Songs like, “Show Me the Way to Go Home” and of course, “Over There.” Christmas songs are enjoyed year round, after all, why not?
Songs expressed with the greatest emotions, however, seem to be spiritual songs. Almost everyone knows the words to, “Amazing Grace.” And it doesn’t take long before a loved one joins in singing “How Great Thou Art.” Even the very basic, “Jesus Loves Me” lights up their oneness with God. They feel that close relationship with Him again. Completely moved spiritually.
Spiritual music has the greatest affect because it nourishes both body and soul. Regardless of where they are in the dementia, the loved one clearly senses a refreshing. A new calmness, a greater sense of peace and joy. A “knowing” they are in good hands, no matter what.
Musical Instruments
Playing musical instruments while singing adds even greater joy to the entire experience. Your loved one never played an instrument? No problem. They can rhythmically shake maracas, click castanets, strike a triangle, or tap on a drum. They also get enthusiastic with kazoos and tambourines, even to the point they begin dancing about as they play.
Music is about the furthest thing from clinical interactions, which is vitally important to know. Sadly, clinical interactions are possibly the most common form of interactions they now have with others.
Music, on the other hand, flips the clinical interactions on its ear and begins meeting their psychosocial needs. Their demeanor changes as well as their body language. Even their intonations become perkier, joyful to the point of being downright giddy at times.
The great news about all of that is those “feel good” chemicals linger in the body. Your loved one continues to experience the healing properties of music long after the singing has come to an end. Imagine what life would be like for the loved one if this happened on a regular basis.
Going online will lead you to many of your loved one’s favorite songs on CDs. There’s a fabulous selection from the Big Band era that many loved one’s can’t resist. If you don’t know their favorites, it’s always good to go with the basics, like “You are My Sunshine.” Or, go to Nasco which is a catalogue for senior activities. They have some amazing, best-loved music choices.
English is Second Language
Is English is their second language? You may also want to check around for songs in the loved one’s native tongue. Very powerful! Expect plenty of jubilation when they first realize what they are listening to. Not only will they be able to remember the words, old memories will come alive again.
You’ll be hearing things like, “When I was a little girl my mother used to sing this to me!” Perfect time to validate them. Ask questions about their childhood, what growing up must have been like “back in the day.” For the first time in a long time you may even witness the face of contentment on your loved one!
Psychosocial Encouragement
- Hug your loved one and tell them why you loved them.
- Ask them to help with small chores like dusting, setting the table.
- Sing their favorite songs with them.
- Whistle along as they sing. Later ask them if they can whistle too.
- Give them choices instead of orders.
